RELATIONSHIP

THE MOST CRINGE-WORTHY NIGERIAN RELATIONSHIP STORIES ON INSTAGRAM

The most cringe-worthy Nigerian relationship stories on joro olumofin's page on instagram

Joro Olumofin’s Instagram page has come to be one of most trusted platforms where young Nigerians share their dating, relationship, marriage and general life experiencesAdejoro Olumofin also known as ‘The Love Doctor’ became popular for his interactive approach to controversial relationship topics on Instagram.

Flaky as some of these stories may seem, they give a near perfect picture of what many Nigerian relationships are truly like.

Every society has its peculiar cultures and traditional ways of socialization. People in different societies express love in different ways. While sending flowers to your crush may be considered a romantic gesture in the Western world, you may get a razz for doing same in Nigeria.

With over 570,000 followers that hang on to his every word, The Love Doctor is Instagram’s ‘Agony Uncle, publishing mails of critical heart issues and dispatching sage advice to love lorn individuals who mail him.

These stories are a combination of the sad, weird and hilarious. Here are a few of them to stir your romantic mood.

 

She needs a man who will shower her with gifts

Dear Joro.. please I need advice I have a boyfriend, we have been dating for two years.  And I was having it all good. Though my present boyfriend has never given me any present, nor has he ever assisted me financially in any way. And that’s fine with me because I don’t even ask. He also has never posted my picture on social media. He treats our relationship like a little secret. I wasn’t OK with that but I still didn’t complain. But recently, I met someone  better who is willing to give me anything I want, be it money, iPhone, laptops, anything you can think of and right now I am at my lowest point financially. Literally….I am falling for the temptation to cheat on my boyfriend. My account has only #750 left in it. I’m really confused about what to do. We have gone out on a few dates and he is willing to do anything just for me to hang out with him and sleep with him.. He seems like   a good man too. Please advise me joro…

5 REASONS WHY THE RIGHT RELATIONSHIP IS WORTH THE WAIT

Urgent: Is my boyfriend g*y?

Dear Uncle Joro, Please post this. Please hide my identity. I am currently schooling in England and I am in a relationship with a guy who is also studying here, same Institution, same course.  We have been very close since first year. We are currently in 2nd year and we have this lecturer who we have been having a 3some with. It used to be like twice a week, but now it is once every two weeks. But lately, my boyfriend has become very secretive. He goes out without telling me where exactly he is going, and I suspect they have started meeting up without me. When we are with the lecturer, my boyfriend doesn’t touch me anymore, and even when we are just on our own, it takes him ages to get hard. I am getting very worried that my boyfriend is now g*y. What should I do?? I have tried everything., please help me. I love him and I don’t want to lose him.

WHAT BEING IN A RELATIONSHIP SHOULD REALLY MEAN

She feels betrayed getting to know that her best friend was sleeping with her boyfriend

I’m so happy Joro, and not as sad as I should be. l dated him for 3 years… and the best he could do is ‘woo my bestie and sleep with her’.  Joro, He met her just two years ago….and today is their marriage introduction.. She didn’t even care to tell me, I found out on my own. It’s not like I am even pained, I’m just wondering where I missed it…joro I asked my bestie not quite long ago, she said she was busy and would reply me later..joro God bless them…so all this years, I and my best friend have been dating the same man…joroo. And the worst of it all, this guy is so damn good in bed. Sometimes he left me with bruises, but I endured it all for love. Funny thing is, I don’t really  feel so bad. I just felt like talking to someone.

10 SIGNS YOUR BOYFRIEND IS TRYING TO WOO YOUR BEST FRIEND

Husband is communicating with a woman he’d once slept with

Hello Joro, my husband once had a 3some with a lady and her friend, I found out and confronted him, he said he was not mature at the time, it was just a ‘fling’ and we weren’t even dating when it happened, so I decided to let it slide. Recently, I found out that hubby has been communicating with this same woman. I wasn’t cool with it and I made that very clear to him. But after he promised to cut all ties with her, I still found out that he recently transferred some funds into her bank account. Why is it so hard for him to stop communicating with the lady? I really don’t understand. He tried another smart one by changing her contact name on his phone, but I still found that out. To make matters worse, he attempted to lie to cover it up saying she is his female soldier friend, that the name I know her with is not her name that the new name is her real name and she’s now in the military.., And so many other flings and exes this guy keeps talking to. I’m tired Joro, I want a divorce.

THE REAL REASONS WHY PEOPLE CHOOSE TO STAY IN JOYLESS RELATIONSHIPS

Girlfriend is acting strange

Hey joro. Lately my girlfriend has been acting strange like she doesn’t want to talk to me, she  seems to be always busy, slow in replying chat, and avoids FaceTime most of the time, I really don’t know what I could have done wrong. When I ask her, she tells me we are good. But her attitude keeps getting worse. Now we hardly talk 2 hours in a day. I don’t know if it’s the distance. I don’t want to lose her, what should I do?

 

She wants to get married and it’s urgent

Hello Joro the love doctor. Please I need help. I need a man to wed me by December this year. I don’t want to wait. I told God I will get married this year and he won’t fail me. If you are a man and you are ready to marry this December 2018, I don’t care if you have a job. All I need is  a man with a caring heart and who loves God. Joro help me marry this year. All applicants should apply: Chidinma4Real0byy1@gmail.com

10 SIGNS SHE IS ONLY USING YOU

I’m in love with a married man

I Just read the post a Lady Made on Your Page about her ‘Married Man Boyfriend’ stalking her. I am in that same situation! When we started dating, all I wanted was a fling, but right now, we are so much in love with each other, I won’t lie but I want out! This man stalks me, and even beats me, if he finds out I’m talking to a new guy, he will fight the guy off and call him up to stop calling his girlfriend. He claims he wants me to be his second wife and truly, I would have loved to be his wife because I love him too much but he is already married!. He spends more time with me than his wife. I don’t even think he loves his wife as much as he loves me. Please help me, how do i get out of this situation?

THERE IS A NEW DATING TREND CALLED CURVING, AND IT’S WORSE THAN GHOSTING

He seems too good to be real

Is he a ritualist ? Or God wants to use him to bless me. Joro this man vandalized my DMs. In just one week of friendship,  he has gifted me 150k. And we have not even met yet. Our chat is not se*uaI. Just he says I’m cute on the inside. But he said he wants me to come to Owerri for Christmas. I don’t know if I should go. I like him. How can I be sure he is not a sociopath or ritualist. I searched him on Facebook but his profile came up with only two images. What do I do? My friend said he is a ritualist, that I should be careful. How can I verify if he is for real? I want to go and see him.

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Married man saga

Please Joro, how do I get rid of this nagging married man who is always on my tail. I now regret having an affair with him. He stalks me, checks my phone, hacks my WhatsApp chat, he even bugged my sim, omo see eehn I’m frustrated. He would tell me to go have a boyfriend, that he’s not holding me back, but when I go out and with single guys, he gets angry and starts a fight.  The fact is, I do love him too, but how do I convince him that we cannot be in this relationship forever.

ROMANCE OR SHOWMANCE: ARE THESE SOCIAL MEDIA RELATIONSHIPS FOR REAL?

Now this is really gr0ss

Hello Joro, May God use you as my happiness in life. God will repay you will many gifts. That guy who sent a Mail yesterday that he likes giving head on a lady’s peri0d. I’ve fallen for him. Please mail me his contact. He is my soul mate. If he’s tall and has income. I love that thing. My ex did it once. It felt k!nky and cold. My friend abroad let’s her dog give her the head on her peri0d. I really enjoyed it when my ex did it. I don’t have the boldness to ask new guys I meet. To my surprise God led me to your page. Please give me the guys contact. Some will judge but they haven’t tried it.

On my peri0d right now. I’m already h0rny AF so head on my period is cloud 1 billion. Help me with him. Thank you. Connect me let our journey begin.

RELATIONSHIP PUNDITS REVEAL THE REAL REASONS WHY PEOPLE CHEAT

I’m married. He’s married

Hello Joro. Really, I’m not seeking advice, just clarity on how men think. I’m happily married. My lover is also happily married. Judge not. We have discreet, safe, great s*x. We know it will end one day. We’re mature and have accepted the fact that affairs hardly last long. After a fabulous round of s*x, he actually said he’d like me to meet his wife. I’m like “why the hell would you want your wife and l in the same space??? Worse talking to each other???” He says “she’s a nice and adorable woman?’ I laugh How do men think? He’s been married for 2 years to a “nice and adorable woman” yet cheats. I’ve been married over 10 years to a very difficult man (at least I have an excuse to cheat), but I would never want my lover to meet my husband.

WHAT BEING IN A RELATIONSHIP SHOULD REALLY MEAN

I beg you Joro please post this

Hello Joro, I met a guy on your page on “when u post single say Hi” and all that. He came into my dm. So we chatted and we got good. He was just inviting me to come over to his house this and that. At a point I got upset. So yesterday I was bored and I just needed a weekend to get away from home. I chatted him, he asked me to come to his place. I asked to take uber, but he he gave some excuse. I was so bored that I just wanted to leave the house so I took bus to the island from Isolo. We met finally. I was so tíred so we went to his house. This guy is so poor he cannot even afford to pay for a meal. Worse still, he didn’t even have food in his apartment, he made noodles for me. I was so pissed but couldn’t get back to my apartment because it was already late. In the dead of the night, he tried to seduce me into sleeping with him. This morning he made me tea and bread. At daybreak, I told him I wanted to take my leave. He pleaded that I should stay for a few more days, then he got a call from one of his customers, he ordered uber and said we should go together…………………….

12 MOST HIGHLIGHTED SNIPPETS FROM THE BEST BOOKS ABOUT RELATIONSHIPS

I want to explore

Good evening Joro, please post this and keep me anonymous. Great job you are doing here. So I’ve been dating my boyfriend for over a year now, things are great, he’s an amazing guy and we really love each other, I’ve been with only him. I’m 22 years old but I’ve never had a one n!ght stand, friends with benefits, a fling nor cheated on him. I feel like it’s something I should do and get out of my system before I get married (because we plan on getting married) does that make any sense? Does being with only one guy mean you’re most likely to cheat when you get married? I mean the s*x is great but I don’t know what else is out there. It’s a long distance relationship and I’m thinking, if I do it without him finding out he won’t get hurt and there are a lot of guys who are willing to date me. Another thing is, he’s a broke guy, most times I’m the one giving him money. I’m scared that like all the stories we read about, when he makes it, he’ll leave me. I’m caught between loving and trusting him or putting my eggs in different baskets. Please what do you guys think? I’ll be waiting for your comments.

40+ BEST GIFT IDEAS FOR THE SEASON

Do you think he’s in for real?

Good morning Uncle Joro. My relationship is 8 months, I only know one of my boyfriend’s friends. But he knows a lot about me, he is friends with my sisters and some of my colleagues. At a point, I complained that I wanted to get to meet his friends and family members, but he took me to that one person I already knew. Each time I ask him personal questions, he tells me not to be ‘faster than my shadows’. I have never been to his house, neither have we ever spent the night together. He comes to my house because I stay alone. He’s 40. We’ve been having issues of late, we argue over everything. Hardly will a day go by without a fight. I’m tired and fed up. Should I walk away and forget this relationship or sit him down and express myself to him? Well, I have done this severally but it always ends in a fight. After that, he’ll apologize and promise to make amends, but still goes back to the same old habit. I need help.

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Boyfriend has a stinking bad breath

Hello Joro. I really love this guy. He is talking marriage already and we are just two months into the relationship. I love him but my only problem with him is bad breath. His breath stinks sometimes especially in the morning. Romantically, He is a total turn off for me I can’t even kiss him. I always feel irritated and I think he knows because he brushes like 2 to 3 times daily. I didn’t really notice this until I went to his house to spend some days. He is a good man and showers me with gifts but for his bad breath, I don’t think we can get married. His bad breath has become so chronic that even after brushing it still stinks. Don’t know what to do about this and I don’t want to break his heart.

10 THINGS ABOUT MEN WOMEN FIND UNATTRACTIVE

Married man trying to seduce girlfriend

Hello Joro. I have this pastor disturbing my 18 year old girlfriend for s*x and he lives in the other flat. He is actually aware that she’s my girl because she comes over to my house often.  Should I expose him?  He even got me mad recently by parking his car in front of mine, and when I asked the security to call him he didn’t pick up so I left with  Uber. Also heard that he got another girl pregnant. Should I unleash my anger and expose him to his wife?

THERE IS A NEW DATING TREND CALLED CURVING, AND IT’S WORSE THAN GHOSTING

Fiancee got abused by best friend’s cousin

Good day Joro, I never thought I could be needing public opinion in my relationship someday but here I am. My fiancee got brutally raped by her best friend’s cousin, and the little twist is that she was actually set up by her best friend. Joro I begged this girl tirelessly to cut off her so called best friend because the girl is vicious and evil but she refused and now she’s crying and begging me not to leave her. Bros Joro this guy literally threw punches at her and paralyzed her hands(she can barely move them) then her pu$$y is just a mess cause she can hardly walk. I wanted to confide in her elder sister but she asked me not to tell anyone. She doesn’t want to come out and talk about it.  I love this girl so much. I’m really shocked. I want the bast@rd to pay for his actions. I need your help.

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In love with a married man

Hello Joro. Please keep me anonymous. I have been dating this married man for about two years now, I have fallen deeply in love with him, and I know he loves me too.. His family resides in the united states, so I am in Lagos with him. Every 3 or 4 months he travels to go visit them. Joro I’m confused, I know I may not have a future with this man.. but He cares about me so much he doesn’t like to see me unhappy.. He keeps talking about our future together and all, I just don’t know what to do or what kind of steps to take.. Please I really need your advice… You can also post it as I’d be in the comments section to read the comments.

GHOSTING IS FAST BECOMING THE POPULAR BREAKUP STRATEGY FOR MILLENNIALS

I’m confused! Girlfriend wants to see the other side of me

So I’ve been with this girl for like a year now and we are totally okay.. The relationship is all good… Anytime I do something wrong, she complains and we iron it out. But for like a month now… She has been pulling back… Less calls, less texts and all that sh!t…. So. I decided to sit her down to ask what the problem really was. To my surprise, she told me she was not OK with the way I don’t complain about anything… That for the  fact that I don’t get angry or upset with her, it means I don’t love her well enough. Please what the f**k should I do.. I’m confused.

FANTASIZING ABOUT YOUR PARTNER WILL STRENGTHEN YOUR RELATIONSHIP

I have a terrible temperament

Hi Joro. I can’t even sleep. l have such a bad temperament which I’m trying to control and I even pray fervently about it. The thing is that if my boyfriend gets me p!ssed, I would be rude and talk like I don’t care for that moment that I’m still angry, but after I’m done saying my mind, l start blaming myself for not being able to control my temper.  My boyfriend is not happy with this attitude of mine at all. I apologize to him each time I get p!ssed and talk anyhow to him. But aside my bad temperament, I’m a sweet lady to my partner and we don’t have any other issues aside when I get angry. Please, I really need to solve this. l love my boyfriend and I don’t want this to happen again. I’m texting you tonight because it happened again since September. I need serious advice. I’m not happy with this.

FANTASIZING ABOUT YOUR PARTNER WILL STRENGTHEN YOUR RELATIONSHIP

Women are the strongest

Good morning uncle Joro, may God continue to bless you. Please hide my identity and post this for me. I don’t really have much to say but to give a little advice to my fellow ladies out there. Never marry a man thinking he will change for better after marriage. A broken relationship is better than a divorced marriage, I wish I can turn back the hands of time, l was blinded by love. I can’t count how many times I have shed tears in a marriage not up to two years. Sometimes I would want to leave but when I think of my child and the thought of raising her without a father, it breaks my heart. She’s the only reason I’m happy today. I know my God is not asleep and see the heart of every one and I won’t stop looking up to him.

HOW TO ATTRACT THE LOVE YOU DESERVE

I’m Depressed

Good evening uncle Joro. I want to air this out or I might just die of depression. I’m 2 months pre8nant. Baby daddy is excited, he loves me so much and we’ve been together for 2 years now. He has already made his intentions of marriage known to my family, and we are still working on it. Was at his place last week when he was robbed. Joro the robbers did not just steal from him but they r@ped me and made him watch at gun point.

From that day till now, he hasn’t spoken a word to me. He stopped calling me Joro. What did I do wrong? It’s not my fault I was r@ped. I’m trying to deal with the pain and hurt from being r@ped and now this. I could try and move on but I’m carrying his child. I’m practically going nuts, this is just too much for me to deal with. Please keep me anonymous.

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Boyfriend is fet!sh

Hello Joro, please don’t judge me. And promise to delete comments. I’m having an affair with a married man. To make the Long story short. He is cool and all. But he does something that scares me. He asks me to wear his wife’s stuffs while on bed. Not undies or anything. But her scarf, bra or shoes. Like he is fet!sh and all. If he loves his wife why does he do that?

IF HE TRULY LOVES YOU THEN YOU’LL BE WORTH THE CHASE

Boyfriend is abusive and insecure

Good morning Joro. I’m presently in a confused state. I have been dating this guy for over 7 years and it’s quite obvious he loves me and will do anything for me. I really do love him too, maybe because he’s my first love. But the problem I have with him is that, he’s so temperamental, insecure and abusive. He hit me once and promised he’d never do it again. He gets angry over little things every now and then and say abusive words to me.

Countless times I’ve threatened breaking up with him he keeps asking for another chance to make things right. He’s a major part of my success today. He got me my job, my parents and siblings like him. I’m at a state where I no longer love him.. I can say my love for him is like 30% now. I need help.

THE REASONS WHY MOST WOMEN WOULD RATHER ENDURE ABUSE THAN DATE BROKE MEN

How do I tell my crush I’m madly in love with him?

Hello Joro, Good morning. I had to build up courage to also ask for your advice and it came at this time. Thanks for this wonderful platform you created. I’d really appreciate if you post my piece also. I’ve known this guy for over 10 years now. We attend the same church, same estate and all. I’ve always had a crush on him for long. My joy now is that we recently started talking so well. I really have feelings for this guy. I’m very sure he is single and Ive been single for over a year. I’m in a serious dilemma. Should I tell him how I feel about him? (The last time I poured out my feelings to a guy, he took me for granted, cheated on me and hurt my feelings). What if I keep my feelings to myself and he starts dating someone else? I’m scared.

FALLING IN LOVE LEADS TO WEIGHT GAIN; ACCORDING TO NEW STUDY

Hubby travelled with the c0nd0ms we have at home

Ah Joro. My husband travelled to the state where the lady we’ve been having discussions about not contacting her everyday resides. A day before he travelled, I had this instinct to check the c0nd0ms we have kept at home. I have never done that before. I found 6 packs with two 2 new products I don’t know of or even used in the past. I painfully waited for him to travel only to find only 5 c0nd0ms left. I’m weak… No, I’m angry. He is back but I have not spoken to him since. He kept asking what’s wrong, I said something else. I’m so confused whether to wait and gather more evidence or CONFRONT him tonight.  Please what should I do. Is he tryna test me or what?

IF HE SHOWS THESE SIGNS, HE MAY BE CHEATING ON YOU OR WILL PROBABLY CHEAT ON YOU SOMEDAY

My husband thinks I’m too close to my mother

I didn’t think I’ll ever do this. Please is this normal? My husband thinks I’m too close to my mom. He has an issue with me and my mum talking a few times in the day and these conversations aren’t even up to 5 minutes long ever. Please is it bad to be close to one’s own mother because I’m now married? He has a cousin that calls him more than my mother calls, and I’ve never made this an issue. It’s really painful and I’ve never been through this and none of the married women I’ve tried to talk to are going through the same thing neither do they even understand.

WOMAN REVEALS APPALLING THING HUSBAND DOES IN BED – AND MUMSNET USERS ADVISE SHE CALL IT QUITS 

Dear Joro, He is scared of commitment

I have a boyfriend I have been dating for a while now but something happened a while ago which left us in what i will call a break. Right now it seems like it has cooled off a little. But there is just one thing about him I really don’t get. From my understanding of what’s going on, I’ll say he wants me and he does not want me.  One minute he is so sweet and tells me I am the best thing to ever happen to him and the next he is kinda scared of how fast our relationship grows. It’s more like he is scared of a commitment, yet he talks and wishes for it more than anything. I know someone will say, just move on with your life he is not serious, but the truth is I love him so much and I know he loves me too.  Please tell me what to do.

10 REASONS WHY HE IS AFRAID OF COMMITMENT

She works so hard, but only to prove a point

Dear Joro. This is not about may relationship. i just want to understand this little complication. I met this young pretty and entrepreneurial girl few days ago. As we got a little closer in our discussion, I discovered her only drive to being successful in life is to never be told of how she was picked from the gutters by one guy or the other. I was actually expecting a better reason after she said this, but I think the only reason she has for making money is already said. And it left me kind of confused. Please i just want to ask, should anyone ever think of such as their only reason to work so hard for money?

ARE YOU HAVING PHILOPHOBIA?; THE FEAR OF FALLING IN LOVE?

Why make me fall in love when all you wanted was a f***?

Good evening Joro God bless you for this platform please keep me anonymous. Men why are you guys like this? You followed a girl and wooed her with reckless abandon. You disturb her for many months, and now you have succeeded in making her love you, that’s when you and left her in the rain without shower cap why? I call, you don’t pick, I try chatting, it take you days to reply, I try talking things over with you, you tell me to get a new boyfriend. I’m in tears right now.  I have not done anything wrong I know of.  I don’t ask you for money and you don’t even give me. There is no love out there no love! Men are all cheats. All they want to do is to eat and run away.  Everything I have told you about myself, you used it all against me not even caring how much you much I loved you.  It is my fault, I  loved too deeply, but i promise you, God will reward you for everything you have done.

FEELING TOO DAMAGED TO LOVE AGAIN?

Gush! I peed on my boyfriend’s bed

I urinated on my boyfriends bed Joro I did the most stupid thing in my life today. I having been dating my boyfriend for 5 months now joro, I went to see him at his place yesterday and he asked me to spend the night, which I did. Joro we had so much fun all through the night and only for me to wake up this morning to see that I had peed on the bed.. Joro the bed was full of my urine. He was awake before me, I already knew he saw what did.   I went to meet him and apologized. Joro, he said I shouldn’t bother that shit happens. But sincerely I’m not comfortable with it, I want to break up with him, joro I’m ashamed of myself

ON-AGAIN, OFF-AGAIN RELATIONSHIPS ARE HARMFUL TO MENTAL HEALTH, STUDY REVEALS

Dear Joro, He’s wicked

Dear Joro, Pleases I need advice now He told me that an too skinny that I should add some weight I did, and then he said that I’m too fat now, he wants to breakup, I don’t know what to do I’m just 60kg I’ve tried working out, but it’s not working!!!

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