Most women actually do prefer a man who isn’t afraid to CRY or wear his emotions on his sleeve, says a new study.
So what does that say about what we already know about a man expressing his deepest emotions in a relationship? CONTRADICTING, isn’t it?
“Be a man, men shouldn’t cry”. That’s what society keeps telling us from the day we are born, and now we’ve got used to it. We all want to fit into what our society spells as the “social norms”. MEN SHOULDN’T CRY. Men don’t cry.
But despite what we all have been indoctrinated to think, the reality seems to be a sharp contrast. Yes, MEN DO CRY, and there is nothing wrong with that. A man can also be overwhelmed with anger, happiness, and sadness and may feel like releasing these emotions by crying. It is human nature, and MAN IS NOT GOD — Men are made of the same flesh and blood and we’ve got emotions we want to express too.
According to a new survey carried out on 1,500 people by Elite Singles, over 95 percent of women admitted that they prefer a man who isn’t afraid to express his emotions. In the same vein, 97 percent say men crying is healthy, natural and normal.
However, one in half a dozen men still believes that it’s a sign of weakness to break down in tears in the view of women, despite the findings that men are more likely to cry for love than women. (13 percent vs 11 percent) AND THAT’S ANOTHER SHOCKER.
A huge disparity was found between how men imagine women perceive their behavior and how women actually perceive men. Men feel they shouldn’t cry or show strong emotions, on the other hand, 81 percent of women say they would like their partner to show more emotion — And that’s where the contrariety lies.
The study also established that 27 percent of male respondents admitted to crying at least once every few months, 14 percent once a week. Two percent said they tear every day and six percent say they never cry.
It was found however that women cry more as forty-seven percent of those surveyed admitted to crying at least once every month.
The emotion both men and women express the most by crying is “Sadness”. Fifty-eight percent of men cry when they are sad while women topped at sixty percent. This is followed by Happiness (11 percent men and 10 percent women) and Pain (6 percent men and 8 percent women).
“Men have been conditioned to not only hide their feelings but to then cover up how much they’re covering up their feelings,” she says. “All this leads to profoundly sad statistics – that men will suffer more depression, alcohol, and drug addiction, and suicide rates than women because they don’t feel comfortable opening up and letting it all out.”
Says Relationship expert Chantal Heide of Canada’s Dating Coach.
“The fact is, men and women don’t share the same emotional world, But all feelings can become dysfunctional when we’re afraid to face them. This is why women yearn to see men cry – they understand at a fundamental level how healthy that really is, even those choosing to be stoic themselves when faced with their own sad emotions.”
Heide explains that the disconnect may have arisen from a combination of factors: men’s natural instincts to do away with anything that doesn’t serve to be hardworking and functional, and the cultural influence that says strong people don’t cry.
“Many men who work hard to be the providers of their households will shelve emotions just to get the job done, Their Number 1 focus is ensuring that their family has security, and anything that would get in the way of functioning…. is put aside until ‘it’s more convenient’.”
A man’s emotions can go years without being given attention. Tok often men feel that opening doors to their emotions could leave them spent and vulnerable. So, they build fences and shut-out completely.
But contrary to what we think, Heide explains that being open about one’s feelings and expressing emotions in front of your partner is actually one of the cutest things to do. It is a big display of trust — not weakness
“Because of this lack of understanding with both men and women, no one is fully opening up their feelings and as a consequence, not fully delving into what it means to love and support one another”, she says.
“Emotions that are suppressed have damaging effects on our mental and physical health,” Heide explains. “And too many suppressed negative emotions can lead to depression. Real, loving and intimate relationships are those that take place in real life, meaning we journey together through ups and downs. But this is nearly impossible if long repressed negative emotions are interfering with today’s exchange.”
It is noteworthy that men especially be taught ways and how to express their feelings and emotions.
It is important for both sexes to do better at effective communication, sending and receiving, talking and listening. This is the only way we can both perceive and understand each other the way that we should.
Quit sobbing in secret, it’s normal to cry on your woman’s shoulder. You are just a man.