Money is a very important ingredient in not just relationships but life in general. In any relationship, you need money as much as you need intelligence and emotional maturity. Until you can afford these elements, your relationship is hardwired to not succeed.
It is common to hear people say “There is no romance without finance and without money, how can one afford honey”. All these phrases are not far from the truth. Perhaps, a reasonable number of relationships these days are business-like in nature. People get into relationships or marry for a whole lot of reasons other than love and an overwhelming longing to be together.
Especially in lesser developed economies, you stand a very high chance of getting someone to love you when you are financially all right. If you are not, all your abundance of emotions and good traits may just be a waste. All your dreams and assurances of the future may not even be considered.
Yes, it’s a sad fact but that’s the reality. Although many social activists are trying to effect a social change, it will take a long time to achieve this. This way of thinking has been in existence for ages and cannot be so easily wished away. It is not easy to completely overhaul a system of belief that is inherent in every culture and nationality, though in varying degrees.
Nonetheless, not all relationships are so transactional in nature but suffice it to say that, apart from the fact that many relationships are largely business-like in these parts, another truth every guy needs to wrap his head around is that, there is no relationship that is free.
Although relationships are not meant to solely be about a fat bank account or the level of one’s success in life, it is near impossible to love in this age without having to spend a dime.
About three decades ago, a waiter would take the bill straight to the man, if a couple is out on a date. But lately, the bill is placed in the middle of the table. The discourse about money and relationships is shifting gradually. More attention is now being focussed on women and how they also need to chip in more regularly and spend money on men, too.
This conversation is largely triggered by the increasing commonness of transactional relationships and the need to checkmate or if possible, phase such relationships out completely.
Irrespective of your gender, you still need to spend money in your relationship. Hardly ever can a relationship do without money. Love, even in its purest, truest and most genuine form relies deeply on sharing, gifting and spending quality time on dates among other things. And there is no way you are going to do these without spending.
However, even with the increasing occurrence of these transactional relationships, it should still not be an excuse limiting you as a man from spending on your woman. Neither should it excuse you as a woman from spending on your man. And you must do it gladly and happily without being pushed to do so.
Women especially value random gifts from their men and quite a number have adopted this to be the love language they understand best. The best way to impress a woman is by occasionally surprising her with a gift or making a grand show of your love by spoiling her as your financial strengths permit.
This is the more reason why you shouldn’t even consider getting into any relationship if you have no source of income. Love is difficult to prove if you are broke.
If you are yet to find a stable financial footing, then you should consider dating someone within your financial bracket. Be sincere with yourself and your partner and try as much as you can to not over-flex your financial muscle.
For a healthy relationship, you also need to date someone who is independent and pursues financial freedom on her own. Only such women genuinely understand your struggles and will have no misplaced sense of entitlement. They would rather encourage you more and appreciate your little efforts.