All relationships keep GOING good as long as ING is not removed at the tail end and E is not added at the beginning. Once GOING becomes EGO everything foregoes. EGO is only a three letter word but it has the capability of destroying anything in its pathway, be it relationships, talents, friendships and visions or dreams.
Ego renders us blind to our very own imperfections and mistakes.
Ego is like a thick piece of a veil. First, it will confine us from seeing all the things that we have then it will remove itself when there is nothing left for us to see
Many times in our love lives, we inadvertently employ ego to make decisions, manipulate or place the blame on our significant other. We fight so hard not to own up to our shortcomings and mistakes. At a point, this becomes like a strife between our spirit and a part of our emotional soul. Although a few times, the ego can also be a good thing, for it boosts self-belief – which allows us to see what others may not see in us.
As humans, we all have egos. The most important point is how we express or handle it by giving due consideration to others as well.
Take the case of a little baby in need of chocolate. She would wake up crying late in the night until her need is satisfied. She wouldn’t mind keeping everyone up just so she can have a lick of chocolate. Like a baby we most times exhibit our egoistic nature when we are in need of something or feel unsatisfied. Then we look at the portrait and see only ourselves in it – with no one else. Friends, family and even our relationships seem less important to our need. We become too selfish or egoistic.
But how can an egoistic person claim to love another completely? People who carry too much ego find it hard to love. How can you even love if you are so full of yourself? To the other person, what you call love feels far from it. You just can’t call it love if there is even the slightest hint of an ego. Love is defined by selflessness and equality. It is impossible to love someone whom you deem as much inferior to your identity.
Is Ego, Confidence or Self-esteem the same thing?
We very often tend to confuse the two. But simply put, ego is a vice while confidence is a virtue. Though they may both manifest in the same way, ego and confidence or self-esteem are two completely different things. A man with ego has an inflated sense of self. He sees others as less worthy of respect than himself. Self-esteem, on the other hand, means knowing and being confident in your worth as a person.
People with big egos very often feel insecure and in order to cover up their insecurities, they constantly try to make up for their shortcomings or feelings of inferiority by exaggerating good qualities. In a nutshell, a man with a big ego lacks confidence. Contrastingly, a man with high self-esteem has confidence in his own abilities, understands his deficiencies and loves himself all the same.
Here are some obvious signs that your ego is killing your love life
You are always talking about yourself
Check out your relationship, especially when you are having a conversation. Who does most of the talking and who among you is most of the discussion centered on? The ego cares much more about himself than any other. Ego often turns everything around and makes it about himself – about his personal life and struggles.
You think everyone is better than you
Deep down, the ego thinks that everyone is better than him. But at the same time consoles himself with excuses why it is so. Are you always feeling victimized? Do you always compare yourself to others, especially your significant other? The ego magnifies your imperfections and pitches aside your confidence. Don’t ever accept that you are a victim of any circumstance. Own up to your challenges and face them squarely.
You constantly blame others
Ego is controlling, manipulative and always blaming others for everything. In a relationship, you must learn to be responsible for your every action. We must learn to always step aside and view every situation with a third eye. The ego loves to criticize and blame – trying constantly to reprimand another. In the process, neglecting himself – not pushing hard enough to correct his own shortcomings. If you want to grow into being a better partner, first start owning up to your mistakes.
You always have the last say
If you find yourself talking excessively about yourself and not giving a hoot about your partner, you are in an ego-driven relationship. Ego drives you to want to always have the last word in every discussion. You perceive or rephrase every topic to be relative to your person.
You always compare yourself to others
Ego feeds on external situations and not internal love. It makes you pivot yourself as an ideal standard on which to judge others. You keep comparing yourself to everyone, not excluding your partner. Even your relationship is subjected to constant juxtaposing with other relationships. In the end, thinking too much and comparing yourself to others makes you lose your self-esteem.
You criticize too much
Have a rethink on how you often point out your partner’s faults, imperfections or mistakes. Ego has more audacity to thrive where others make mistakes. It wants to see others fail. Ask yourself, when others flunk, do you advice them or do you criticize? When your partner slips up, are you quick to point out his/her flaws or do you take out time to console, correct and teach them how to do things better?