Friend zone is a popular term used to describe a friendship that exist between two persons in which one member of the friendship wishes to enter into a romantic relationship while the other does not. If this happens, the other person is said to have being friend-zoned.
A friend zone is an undesirable place to be. People who have found themselves in the friend-zone situation have lots of heartbreaking experiences to narrate. The worst feeling is when one person is so very convinced and still hopeful that the other person would come to fall in love with them too, whereas they see you in a different light. A friend may consider you as a bestie or like family judging from how you both may have related in the past.
Actually, the fear of losing someone closely associated with the moods of falling in love can be another factor. The friend zone feels much more safe and comfortable. Both partners have high level of respect for each other but still maintain a degree of independence. In the case of a romantic involvement, this independence is surrendered to the other, little issues become a lot more complicated.
WHY PEOPLE GET STUCK IN THE FRIEND ZONE
Now we all know what it means to be in the friend zone but how do people get there in the first place remains a question yet to be answered.
First, there are different case scenarios. Both ladies and guys may experience being friend-zoned differently. There are also several different factors that can lead to a person being friend-zoned.
Friend zone Case 1 (from the view of a guy)
You meet a cute looking girl. She unusually blends with you in a short while. Laughs at you jokes, calls and texts every hour, you start thinking you have found your soul-mate. Naturally, you feel there is no need to rush, she has come to stay in your life. Time progresses day by day, weeks to months and even a year! You have become so close but nothing intimate, not even a k!Ss. Now, you become scared. The friendship bond between you would seem too important to even raise the topic. Congratulations, you are officially in the friend zone.
Friend zone Case 2 (from the view of a lady)
It is not the ladies fault either. Just like men, women also have what they look out for in a man. He may be the cutest and smartest guy, confident, rich and have a good paying job, true. A woman may genuinely like you for all that but still not feel attracted to you in the angle of a relationship.
She could hang out with you, flirt back at you but never sees you in the other light of a serious romantic involvement.
Some women want commitment and subsequently marriage which they have strong evidence that you may not be ready for in a long time.
Other women just love the attention and company of men. To them, its never a big deal. Such ladies very likely most times are even single and available. One thing is for sure that men find it hard to notice what is right in front of them. They are too adventurous, more likely to go in search of that which is farther away and difficult to find.
HOW TO AVOID THE SITUATION THAT LEADS TO BEING FRIEND-ZONED
Most of the time, it starts with a one sided attraction. One person is s,3xua11y attracted to the other while the other person just want to be friends. Other times its just two shy best friends who are secretly in love with each other but too scared to admit it. Here are some ways this situation can be avoided.
1. Be nice but don’t be the nice guy all the time
Nice guys are believed to finish last and ladies seem to fall more for the bad boys. It is a fact that most nice guys unfortunately end in the friend zone. Not because they love the bad boys more, but because bad guys know just how to treat a lady. In this sense, you must learn the tricks of the bad guys. Don’t give her the impression that you are nice and would always be nice no matter what. Women mistake extreme niceness of a man to weakness.
2. Be unpredictable
If you are the so predictable type, he already knows all about you, what’s the need then of upgrading from a friendship to a relationship that may be age long. The friend zone feels safe and adequate. Men tend to be more interested and attracted to women who leave them thinking all the time what is it they have planned to do next. Spring up good surprises every now and then if you want to stay off the friend-zone.
3. Make her jealous
This works more for women, men most times flee instead. Flirt lightly with other women and watch her she would react. If she feels extremely jealous, there are high chances she is romantically interested in you too. Do this and take yourself one step away from getting into the friend-zone.
4. Make him see good reason why you should be more than just friends
Constantly prove to him that you can be more fun if you are more than just friends. Don’t feel too comfortable and throw your dirty linen around him. Always be conscious of the fact that anything can happen.
5. Don’t tell him about your exe relationships
You could tell him about your exe relationships but just don’t spill all the details. Most men who truly love you don’t want to hear it, except of course he is 9ay. He may pretend to be listening but the fact is he may not be feeling much comfortable.
6. Make them miss you
Deliberately make yourself scarce sometimes. The more you are available, the more he may take you for granted and the more you are likely to be friend-zoned.
7. Ask her how she sees your friendship
Be the man, take it upon yourself to ask her how she feels about your friendship and even if you and her could be together. It shouldn’t be any big deal. Not talking about your feelings is rather going to make your friendship more complicated.
8. Always compliment her especially when she looks awesomely gorgeous
If you see her dressed specially in a body fitting dress, don’t hesitate in telling her how hot she looks. If she reveals some cleavage, you can take a peek then apologize and tell her how irresponsible she looks. In a nutshell, make her know you admire her the other way too, not just as casual friends.
9. Don’t be so timid, flirt with him
Free yourself, flirt back with him. Life should not be so serious. Return jokes, laugh out loud, be playful and have fun.
10. Get touchy and act like a boyfriend
Hold her hand affectionately while walking down the street or crossing the road. Get close, give her more attention especially when you two are alone. She’ll enjoy it and may reciprocate. Treat her like a Queen if you never want to fall into the friend zone.
HOW TO GET OUT OF A FRIEND ZONE SITUATION
As earlier said in the beginning, the friend zone situation can be so frustrating. Being stuck in a friendship and wanting more feels like living in a limbo. No one wants to be friend-zoned. If you already found yourself in such situation, the next thing we would be discussing is how to get out.
Firstly, relationships are both exchanges and communal (Read more). When people look out for the other person in a relationship, it is expected for the other person to reciprocate the gesture.
“To escape the friend zone, you must first realize that all relationships involve negotiation – and you are attempting to “re-negotiate” the current exchange. Essentially, you want “more” from the other person. Most likely, you are already giving too much and what you really want is for them to balance the scales”
Some tricks have already been explained in the segment, ‘avoiding the friend zone situation’ but here are a few more.
Pretend to be less interested
Caring more for someone who cares a little lesser for you puts you in a disadvantaged position. The least you can do is not to appear so desperate. Pretend as if you can do without them. Withdraw temporarily from time to time.
Ask them out for a date
While out on a date, don’t be the usual you. Try to be different by talking about something out of your line of topics. Be more calm and romantic.
Finally, take a bold step
Make a move, come out straight out of your shell and tell him or her you are in love with them and would want to take your relationship to the next level. The least they can do is freakout, say its unwise or ask of more time to think about it. But they are not going to bite, chances are higher you may even get lucky. If what you share is a true friendship then you have nothing to worry about.