Always at the beginning of every relationship, both parties seem flawless, trying so much to be on their best behaviour. They work so hard to impress and not hurt their partner’s feelings.
Everyone is extremely careful, careful on what to say or do. As relationships grow, its only natural to begin to get more comfortable around each other. Comfortability makes you lose your guard and you may become a little more loose-liped.
The more you get closer, the more words you tend to speak, even saying things you actually don’t mean anything. It would only be a matter of time before you may become so careless with words.
No matter how you may feel free or comfortable around him/her, You should never lose your guard to the extent of saying certain things that may harm your relationship.
Here are some things you should try as much as possible not to say to your boyfriend, girlfriend or spouse.
1. Such people are always unfaithful
Ever gone out on a date, having a discussion, they say something and you draw out an immediate judgment already like ‘people who do that are always unfaithful’ ‘men who consume alcohol are always unfaithful’ or ‘women who have too many friends are always unfaithful’. The fact is you have not met all men who consume alcohol or women who have many friends so why generalize. Statements like these would rather push your partner into doing the same things you are so scared of.
2. My partner wouldn’t do that
Trust is a vital attribute for the health and sweetness of all relationships but don’t be so sure as to what your partner can or cannot do. Every person acts and does what they do as a result of the circumstances they find themselves. Understanding this fact is vital for the survival of your relationship.
Making statements such as these is not only capable of ruining your love life but also may make you develop an unforgiving attitude, that is when he/she makes a mistake.
3. You are his wife, not his maid
Everyone has his or her life and relationship preferences. A wife helping out her ever too busy husband to keep the home, cook meals or clean the house should not be anyone’s business. Whereas if a man chooses to do his wife’s laundry, cook or do other house chores should also not be a topic to discuss about in the hair stylist’s shop. Beware of the negative effects toxic statements like this can have on your relationship.
4. If you love me, you’d …
This is like pushing your partner to the wall and trying to chock their breathing till they do your bidding. No one should be pressured to do anything they don’t like in a relationship. Except maybe you want to pressure them to keep staying. In any case, manipulating your partner should not be that bad if it is aimed at something good, like spending more quality time together.
5. Do you still miss your ex?
Even if you get so drunk, don’t even think of asking this question. Never attempt to place your partner in a position that they would have to do a comparison between you and their ex-relationships.
6. You care only about yourself
In every relationship, misunderstanding and disagreements may arise from time to time. This may result to quarrels. When people find themselves in such situations, they may say things they don’t really mean. Some of these statements can be irreparably hurting. Telling someone who cares very much about you that they care only about themselves is a deadly blow strong enough to knock out the feelings they have for you.
7. I don’t even know why I keep trying
This could have so many different meanings like ‘you are just garbage’ or ‘You are not even worth it’. All depending on the context this statement is used. Try as much as possible to avoid making statements like this. You may mean something else while your partner reads a different meaning from it.
8. You are not just smart
Your boyfriend or girlfriend is not smart yet you are with them? That makes two dullards. Telling someone they are not smart will rather make them feel dumber and further reduce their self-esteem. Certainly, no one wants to hear that.
9. What’s wrong with you?
If you are fond of using this statement with your girlfriend, boyfriend or spouse then you are plainly being judgemental. Trying to place all the blame of what has happened on your partner is not too wise an act. Apart from this fact, the statement also seems very confrontational. It is such comments that make tempers flare leading to a fight. Avoid making such statements.
10. I told you so
This is like telling someone plainly ‘you are so dumb’. Take a different stand, put yourself in the position of someone trying to remind you of been dumb. No one feels good with another person giving them the impression that they are dumb. The mistake has already been made. They have already felt the pinch and how much it hurts. Let them willingly come to accept the fact that they were wrong. It is then you can offer them solace, show them empathy and see how your relationship would grow.