MOTIVATIONAL

WHY YOU CAN’T FIND HAPPINESS

Written by chofam

So I got a phone call from my friend who decided not to be happy (yeah happiness like owning a car is a choice)… he went ahead asking;

Why is it that people who were not happy yesterday are hardly happy today? Why is it so difficult to be happy even when you have that which you need most? Why are some people with partly or unfulfilled careers happier than some people with a totally fulfilled life?

Adjusting my position on the bed as I wake up from sleep, I told him same thing I’ve always said about being happy in the past. There is just one simple answer to these three different questions;

Your happiness in life is totally independent of how fulfilled you are with your life’s career, your successes in life, your achievements and all what not. The mind is the most powerful and biggest asset. Whatever you feed to your mind is what will manifest in your life. If you feed it with thoughts and worries, just be ready to lead an unhappy life.

The world and everything it habours may get complicated at some point, and leave too little to perfectly grace human discernment; that’s why every now and then new things are discovered which often make the past almost worthless. As interesting as life can be, it has its own downsides and surely has a way of sticking its dirty fingers into every being; paying no respect to the high nor the low, the beautiful nor the ugly, the rich nor poor, everyone has a fair share of life’s unfairness. While some have figured a way to get used to the snares of life and live even happier every time difficulty befalls them, others have totally submitted to the filthy hands of excessive thoughts and worry each time one life hurdle or the other hits them. People in this category always believe life is only being unfair to them while treating others better. Factually, this belief is totally false. One need to understand that being happy is a choice and not a supernatural entitlement to some special people.

READ ALSO A FEW TIPS ON HOW TO BE SOCIALLY CONFIDENT

Your happiness lies in how you choose to respond to whatever faces you, here are possible reasons why you have not been able to find happiness:

NEGATIVE MINDSET

As easy as it is to be positive, negative mindset may take a toll on us sometime as it takes same route to perfection. Some people so much believe that what has to be surely will come to be irrespective of what your actions or inactions.  Life has gradually proven that the only valid life is the one you create for yourself. Letting yourself set a negative mindset on everything you are involved with takes you directly to a negative result. This is true because whatever thing you set your mind on, whether or not you work towards achieving the end result, you actually work for its actualization without even knowing.

The word negative means sadness and unhappiness; I don’t have to point out an aspect or two where a negative mindset can break you down because it covers a very wide range starting from the very smallest of things.

A negative mindset can bring about;

A loss of trust in oneself (anyone here is a walking dead, charity as taught has its roots from home, what happens when the foundation is messed up, the building can never hold strong. If you can’t trust yourself, you can’t trust anyone and this totally erases your happiness)

Loss of focus (very true because being negative about a thing simply means you can’t even focus to get anything positive out of whatever it may be). Trust me; a lost focus is a lost happiness and a dawn of sadness.

People leave your life (who wants to be associated with negativity? The very funny thing about being negative from the mind is that it blinds your sight of anything positive and this gradually pushes people away from you. A lonely person is without happiness).

 

UNFORGIVING ATTITUDE

Years back, when I was still in school; a trusted friend betrayed my trust beyond my absolute acceptance. For this reason, I hated him with all I got in me. A thought of him can make me have a bad day, I didn’t want to see him because when I do, whatever thing I’m doing turns a mess…yeah that’s how much I hated him. I’d gradually let this friend of mine control my happiness since I refused to forgive him and live in peace with myself.

We are all very conversant with the saying ‘’It’s hard to forget and forgive’’. I have little or no doubts about that because of the feeling you get to experience when you are hurt but really, it is better to forgive and have a total control of your happiness than giving the keys to someone else. An unforgiving heart is an angry heart. In unforgiveness lies the simplest meaning of anger so we can really know what we are up against every time we let anger linger too long in our hearts. There is this popular saying “Anger is a punishment we give to ourselves for someone else’s mistakes”. I couldn’t agree more with this, because a delayed forgiveness is a denied happiness.

BEING TOO HARD ON YOURSELF

Are you a little less than you expected to be? You are not alone, most people find themselves in same position as you. Often we compare our success to others around and shame ourselves for having achieved less than our peers. We all have our time zones with which everything about us work with. That you don’t have your dream job as expected doesn’t mean you won’t, that you are not married yet doesn’t mean you are late, that you’ve not made the millions you envisaged doesn’t mean something is wrong with you, the only wrong thing is your thoughts, change it. There is time for everything, and if you decide to force things to follow your wishes then you should’ve influenced your birth place and parents too. The decision to not appreciate the little you is simply making the no-happiness decision in your life. If you can’t be happy with the little you have and who you truly are, you will never be happy even when your dreams come through.

UNNECESSARY PRINCIPLES

This is a clear example of me back in the days, everything has to be the way I want them, you wanna be my friend, it has to be on my terms and all that. You wanna be in a relationship with me, has to be on my terms and so many other crazy principles with a no benefit end. I kept losing out and losing friends as well. Life’s so simple but we are the ones complicating it. Work with what life has offered you and lead a happy life. Always keep an open mind to welcome new ideas and opinions, allow yourself be influenced so you’ll know how other people feel. Unnecessary principles often leave you alone in your world as most people will leave you or hide their true self from you. Happiness is lost if these principles are left to linger for a longer time.

COMPARING YOURSELF TO OTHERS

Another reason why you may never find happiness is when you resort to comparing yourself with people always. Comparison is a no bad route to take as it will help you know whether you are progressing among your peers or not, but when you make it appear like you are competing, you’ve lost it.

This irritating attitude is too common in recent times, and has led many people into settling for cheap jealousy. Too bad how people decide to not be happy in life.

Many other reasons why people can’t find happiness as you can add to the list, we have to note that happiness is only a choice and not the dividend of a perfect life.

About the author

chofam

Ernest Edim is a blogger and IT consultant with relevant sufficient knowledge and understanding of personal relationships, he's also an author at chofam.com, he motivates the heck out of you. He's also a relationship enthusiast and a freelancer. You want to connect with him....at ernestedim@gmail.com.

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