Are you wondering why you are still single? It could just be as a result of some bad habits you carry along. This could be the reason why people find it difficult to get close to you or why you never stumbled across the right one. People feel attracted to you but in a short while get turned-off on noticing something negative which you may not be aware of yourself.
It is true that no human is perfect but we all desire someone who is great and appears to be flawless to say the least. There are certain negative attributes that can be unattractive to anyone and is big turn-off on love or a crush that exists between any two persons. Some bad habits can ruin your love life and make a partner or potential suitor to lose interest.
Psychology defines a habit as an automatic pattern of behaviour in reaction to a specific situation. We are all habitual in nature. Some habits could be good or affect others positively while some others can be bad or bear negatively on the people around us.
Most times we wear a habitual regalia without we ourselves having any idea that we are that way. Good or bad habits have no relationship with a person’s principles and integrity. However our human nature makes it such that we are socially imperfect and may just unknowingly piss others off from time to time.
Everyone who is either in a relationship or single must come to self-a-realism that there are certain aspects of our personality or attitude that needs to be worked on. These attitudes or habits may have been unconsciously triggered by our walk through life. This can be done without having to change our principles and entire lifestyle to suit the social world.
Ten bad habits you must do away with
Let’s start by first of all identifying some of the bad habits that are capable of irritating a partner or crush and ruining our relationships.
It is good to express yourself. We all love to voice out our inner feelings and opinions but when the talking continues non-stop, it becomes a social nuisance. Talking much more than you listen makes you appear less caring.
The article how to cope with a nagging woman captures some of the aspects of talkativeness. Sometimes people who talk too much are not even aware that they do just so. This is what most of the time leads to a break in communication and you get taken for granted.
When people are trying to say something that is important to them and you keep interrupting them, it only shows how insensitive you are. Be a good communicator, listen more and be logical when you speak.
Excessive alcohol/drug use
Alcohol and other drugs takes you to a different world entirely. What you perceive as real may actually not be. Over time, you become self-conceited and insensitive to your partner without even knowing it. Alcohol and drugs are also known to increase anger, irritability and violence.
Not being able to relate yourself properly is what often leads to a breakdown in communication. Time without number, poor communication between couples have been proved by researchers to be a great deal of a relationship breaker. We are all humans and are prone to mistakes. Our imperfect nature makes it necessary that we must devise ways to resolve disagreements which may arise amicably. Work hard to improve your listening and communication skills and always try to understand correctly what your partner is trying to communicate to you.
Over dependence on your partner
There is no man or woman who doesn’t find independent people attractive. Depending on your partner to satisfy every of your need makes you lose your self-value.
Poor personal hygiene
Poor personal hygiene can be a serious turn-off. Both men and women appreciate those who bath and groom regularly. If you are the type that gets sweaty all the time, then taking a shower as many times as possible is not so bad a habit. How neat and fresh you look or nice you smell is just enough to ooze attractiveness all over you and give a nice first impression. It is true that people tend to work hard to impress their partner at the beginning of a relationship. So sometimes hygiene problems don’t show until a couple have stayed together for a long time. The bottom-line is, if you don’t take care of yourself, who will.
Negative thinking is a great deal of a relationship wrecker. It always starts with ‘complaining’ about little things, then negativity creeps in. Nothing is ever so good. Everything is expected to not succeed. Repeatedly expressing fears over your partner leaving you is not just a problem of insecurity,it is like a prophecy which would definitely come to pass. Negative people are first insecure and later become angry. They tend to be antagonistic about everything in the relationship and life in general. A simple suggestion like : “Let’s go to the beach today” is responded to with: “Why would I want to go to the beach?” This attitude makes it frustrating until it comes to a breaking point that one cannot take it anymore.
Condescending attitude toward a partner.
Men especially are guilty of this and also women who are more successful than their spouses. No one wants to spend the rest of their life with a person who looks down on them, disrespects and publicly puts them down.
According to an online magazine madaboutmarriage,
“Being married to a condescending spouse often means constantly walking on eggshells and trying not to say or do the wrong thing. Unfortunately, this is nto way to live”
A condescending attitude toward a partner is such a relationship wrecker. It is a lonely life to live as you would not want to express your thoughts to your partner so as not to give them the opportunity to say something that puts you down.
Being too nice
The article Reasons why girls take nice guys for granted explains this in great detail. To be nice in itself is a positive attribute. However people tend to draw a different meaning out of it all. Your partner may think you are only putting up a pretence. Also people tend to mistake gentleness for weakness.
Jealousy and over-possessiveness
When you are too jealous and possessive of your partner, you appear to be too desperate. This is a serious relationship breaker. Jealousy could either stem from past experiences like; someone you loved so much in the past cheated on you or someone you know is being cheated on by someone they trust.
Jealousy makes you appear insecure. Whenever you accuse your partner of things he/she is not doing repeatedly, there is a more likelihood that they may end up doing those things. They may even get frustrated by your persistent false accusations and start doing it just to spite you. After all you have already passed a verdict before the wrong was done.
Assuming too much
When you are not in the clear about anything, ask. Stop assuming. Sometimes people tend to live with the assumption that their partner understands them perfectly hence his/her decisions to do or not to do anything that affects them directly. The notion that “if you love me, you’ld know what am thinking” could be wrong most of the time. Making assumptions ruins relationships. Stop assuming and start trusting.